October 1975 |
It might be too small to read, but the "BURST" on the cover says:
Shall we place bets? Since I've seen all but ONE of these mutants in a movie, I know who I'd put MY money on. But no spoilers! (Until, you know, later, when I spoil it for you.)NOT A HOAX !NOT A DREAM!
THIS ISSUE
AN X-MAN
DIES!
The cover also says: "YOU MUST READ WARHUNT!"
Is this like when your friend tells you "You MUST listen to Mumford & Sons!"? Because I ain't buyin' it! And if I choose to read it, it's not because of anything YOU said, cover, but the fact that I have, somehow, dedicated my life to reading all of these comics, anyway. Fate vs determinism.
SUMMARY!
We pick up where we left off, last issue, with all the X-Mans plummeting to their certain death, after having their airplane shot out from under them by missiles launched by the evil Count Nefaria. Turns out, falling from a deadly height is not a good look for Cyclops:
To add insult to injury, Cyclops managed to, somehow, slip on a banana, while falling. |
Though, I doubt anyone looks their best, finding themselves suddenly in free-fall. They are so high up that there is time for them to have a conversation (despite the noise of the wind which is surely drowning out their words?!). In this mile-high chit-chat, we learn that Kurt Von Nightcrawler is a tragic victim of physics:
Speedy Thing Goes In, Speedy Thing Comes Out. (There will be cake. BAMF cake.) |
A) Let's see how long it takes this series to break / retcon that rule. 2) Physics is important in this instance ... except for the aforementioned wind noise that would prohibit a conversation?! III) Two of the other mutants can fly, so this is all moot. Moot-ant.
Storm and Banshee slow the descent of of the others ... except for Colossus, who just "Deep Impacts" himself! (Yes, that movie is now a verb.) Kaboom. "I'm ok!"
Regrouping, Cyclops tells Nightcrawler to teleport into Count Nefaria's base and we get our first-ever BAMF!
HISTORY IS MADE! It's as exciting as seeing Ross and Rachel kiss for the first time! Or, you know, something sports related and manly. |
Seems to ME like Kurt just blindly BAMF'd into a place where he was not sure he could BAMF. I thought he couldn't do that? Is that something I know from the comics, or the movies? Ugh, I feel like Booker DeWitt, trying to keep so many timelines straight in my head. Is my nose bleeding?
Futzer?! I love it! I say we all adopt it and usher in a kinder, gentler era of swearing! "Frackin' Futzer!" |
If you've been following my blog, you're probably anticipating the X-Men losing this fight and being captured. Yet, they actually WIN and head off to find Nefaria.
ADVERTISING ASIDE!
Here is an ad from the comic book:
Ummmm... this was inappropriate, even back in 1975, yes? Simpler times! |
BACK TO THE SUMMARY!
Did I mention that Nefaria has set the base to self destruct? And did I mention that his plan was to launch all of our nuclear missiles unless every country pays him a ransom? Hmmm. Probably should have mentioned that earlier. Whoops!
But, those facts are also moot-ant, because a giant floating head of Xavier shows up to tell Cyclops that they broke the doomsday device while they were fighting with the Ani-Men.
"Thank you for yelling at me about something I had no idea happened! You continue to be a kind father figure to me, a poor orphan who craves fatherly love." |
The last loose-end is to find and capture Count Nefaria. The team catches up to him JUST as he jumps in his get-away jet. Thunderbird - whose power seems to be super pig headedness - jumps onto the jet just before take-off and starts tearing it apart with his bare hands!
It sounds like a good idea until the jet explodes, killing Count Nefaria and John Proudstar. Grim.
A bleak and all-too-real sentiment. It truly is a more adult comic, now. Not, like, an ADULT comic, with the porn and nude ... but, oh you know what I mean. |
FIN.
Is it just me, or does it seem like less seems to happen in each of the issues of the new series? I guess that means more action, so there's less for me to describe? I can appreciate the amount of story in the silver age comics, but I certainly like this "second genesis" more. Faster-paced and full of psudo-cursing and death! Futzin-A!