Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Murder, Shi-ro (Issue #64)

January 1970
JUDGE THE COVER! 
It's Sunfire! A capricious new mutant.

Capricious Sunfire.

CapriSun.

Long way for a short joke that I'm not even sure works (because I've not looked up "capricious" yet....)

Also...do you think that that is what Capri Sun is playing on, too? Capriciousness?

Maybe I should look that up, too? Meh!

SUMMARY! 
Sunfire, who looks like this:

"And give the mask point jowls! Nothing says, 'fear me' like pointy jowls!"


is an angry Japanese adolescent who dreams of one day destroying a monument celebrating the world's young people. He's in luck because it just so happens that a delegate from Japan is unveiling their gift of just such a monument to the United Nations! How capricious ... er ... fortuitous! So, Sunfire destroys it. The price he pays for his actions is having to face the X-Men. Thankfully (for him), the X-Men have returned to their "this is the most dangerous mutant we've faced, so we have to be soundly beaten, the first time we encounter them" trope! Ugh.

They have also returned ... to their Manhattan HQ, after the beating.

What the HUH?! Do the X-Men collect maquette superhero statues?
Stars. They are JUST LIKE US!


Meanwhile, somewhere else, Shiro Yoshida recounts the tale of how he is the son of a woman killed in the Hiroshima bombing and how he was raised by his uncle and taught to seek revenge on those who destroyed his homeland. So far, I cannot fault this young man his feelings. We're dealing with a harsh reality, here. One that I don't think a handful of tossed Hostess Cupcakes will be able to fix. [See every Hostess ad in comic books, EVER, for this reference.]

Oh! By the way, Shiro is, of course, Sunfire. DUN DUN... no... nope. Not shocking.

Using their portable Cerebro (porta-rebro? Sounds too "outhouse-y"...), the X-Men track Sunfire to the airport. Wrinkle in the plan! He's riding in a diplomatic car, as his uncle is also a diplomat. International incidents ahoy! The Japanese visitors board a plane and Angel flies after it.

He also gets stuck in the vacuum cleaner.
Daily.


But Iceman saves the capricious ... I mean enthusiastic Angel from becoming the mother of all bird strikes. [Do people still make "mother of all" references, or am I RETRO?! Pop and lock!] by icing over the engine. The X-Men decide it'll be safer if they all follow the delegation to Washington DC in their jet, so that's what they do. Luckily, no one tries to ice over their engine, so they arrive safely.

Now, the events that transpire, next, happen in rapid succession, so hang on:

Shiro's uncle tells him to kill everyone!
Then Shiro's father is there, slapping him for not letting go of the past and harboring hatred!
Then Shiro chooses hatred and suits up!
Then his father catches him doing so and is going to stop him!
Then Shiro's uncle is there saying that he'll "take care" of his father and that Shiro should go ahead and revenge-kill everyone!
THEN Sunfire goes to destroy the Capitol building! [The real one, in WASHINGTON!]
THEN the X-Men show up ... and lose again!
THEN, just before Sunfire can pop the top off the Capitol's dome, his father appears up there (nothing magical or mutant about it, he just took the stairs)!
Then he says, "If you wanna kill this building, you have to go through me!"
Then the uncle pops up and says, "OK!" and shoots Shiro's father!
THEN, shiro blasts his uncle into dust!

In the span of a few minutes, Shiro has lost everything. A father, an uncle, a life's purpose ... everything! It's tragic. Thanks A-bomb! You're the gift that keeps on giving!

No nukes, OK, people? Thanks!


Capricious: adj. Given to sudden and unaccountable changes of mood or behavior.
Huh. That works!