Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Mano-a-Monolith (Issue #56)

For those keeping score, we are now in May, 1969. [Thanks, Em!]

JUDGE THE COVER!
Hey! You can't grab the comic book's title like that! Don't you see the FOURTH WALL that's in your way?!

Now that a character on the cover has interacted with cover elements, does that mean that they know they are all trapped in a comic book? Imagine the existential crisis of realizing that?

Deep.

Anyway: Crappy costume, right? A Quaker Oats Man hat and a silver wrestler unitard.


SUMMARY!
This is the THIRD part of what I'm calling "The The Living Pharaoh Sagaoh". If you have missed any of the previous parts, feel free to go back. Or feel free to read on and ignore the past. Look forward to the future! That's the way to live! Don't look back in anger! Look forward in HATE. Um...

The X-Men let The Living Pharaoh's henchmen get the drop on them, immediately. The thugs are able to free T.L.P. AND recapture Alex and make their escape. So ... Alex is like the "flag" in "capture the flag", right? The first person to get him home wins? And we can prevent that from happening by throwing a well-timed grenade? (Yes, I am basing my capture the flag knowledge on the multi-player Halo setting.)

To track T.L.P., Jean performs some mental hoodoo. It looks like this:

Is that her brain?! Are we seeing her BRAIN?! Why is it green?!

It works, and the X-Mans are on their way to tracking T.L.P. to his new base. Yes. This Pharaoh guy has ANOTHER base. He has them all over. If he didn't spend so much money on bases, maybe he'd have enough to just BUY global domination... or whatever he's out to get.

Oh! We're about to find out what he wants. Shush!

T.L.Pia (pronounced like "tilapia". Did that joke work?) has put Alex in a power-transference box. See, both Alex and Pharaoh get their powers from cosmic rays, so, somehow, they also share powers. One cannot fully realize their potential while the other exists. It's like a mutant version of Harry Potter. Accio metaphors! So, this box is going to suck all the rays from Alex and funnel them into T.L.P.

That's, actually, a pretty cool idea. I think that has redeemed the story, somewhat, despite it's awful plot holes up to this moment. Also, this issue is better because it has better artwork, too. I hate to say it, but that DOES make a difference. Looks DO matter, no matter what your mom told you. No one wants to marry bad artwork.

Once turned on, it begins zapping those delicious cosmic rays directly into T.L.P., causing him to grow and transform into T.L.M. (The Living Monolith)!

And his clothes have changed, too!
They are now Monolith Clothes,  powered by Cosmic Rays.

I wish he had chosen a better name. "So, you just stand there?" "NO! I crush and destroy! Just like a real m- ... oh, I see your problem with my name ... hmmm. Well ... I CRUSH YOU!" Problem solved.

Alex, still alive in the transference box, thinks: What if I use these so-called powers everyone seems to think I have? He tries and it causes The Living Monolith to lose his powers. PLUS, it brings the temple hideout crashing down. PLUS, all that power that was flowing out of Alex and into The Monolith has reversed itself, therefore: No more T.L.M.

HOWEVER, all that power starts to flow into Alex, and it's like filling an 8-gallon bucket with 10-gallons of RAW COSMIC POWER.

Exactly how I react when the TV
remote runs out of batteries.

BONUS GARBAGE: ANGEL ORIGINS!
He doesn't want to join the X-Men, so he fights Cyclops and Ice Man. But then he joins anyway.
Good. God. When will these things END?!




READ IT YOURSELF!
Follow along by picking up X-Men - Volume 2 Omnibus (Marvel Omnibus)!