Thursday, December 20, 2012

Is THIS Your Card?! (Issue #47)

ISSUE #47!
I can't believe I'm writing this on December 20 - the day before the Mayan Apocalypse is going to happen. If this blog somehow survives the cataclysm, to be found by a future race of hyper intelligent robots please, no matter what the talking bear says, do NOT reanimate my corpse for one day. I'm fine. Thanks! I also realize that the Apocalypse reference will, in short time, become a stale, of-the-moment gag to reference, but I don't care. I really wanted that AI joke.

SUMMARY!
The X-Men might be broken up as a team and broken up, as in "at the verge of tears", they are most certainly not broken up from those two hot chicks, Zelda and Vera. So, while Bobby and Hank grump around, worrying about where coach FBI is gonna trade them off to play - is it going to be the minors? A farm team (literally on a farm, right? That's how sports works?) A Japanese team, like in Mr. baseball? - they decide to take these super-lucky ladies to see the "Maha Yogi".

Surprise, this guy with purported mental powers is a liar! Well... MORESO than other people who purport to have mental powers, I guess, since he is actually also lying about who he is, too. In fact, he is not the Maha Yogi, he is warlock known to loyal readers as Merlin. What's his plan this time? To enslave the minds of man using Kreskin-like cold reading and a "look into my eyezzzzzz" attitude.

Enraged at being made to cluck like a chicken (this did not happen) Hank and Bobby attack. What ensues is an issue-long fight scene. Highlights:

Poor Zelda!

I think we have to break up, Imagination,
you're smothering me!

Before he hit it big as an enemy of Spider-Man,
Sandman held many smaller, more humiliating
roles in other comic books.

Yeah. and those are the HIGHLIGHTS. Worst fight ever. It all takes place backstage and is just as un-exciting as "A Night At The Opera" was not. (Count the negatives, there, it works.)

The whole thing ends when Beast and Iceman use lights and noises to daze the warlock and make him give up. Honestly, his "Take me away!" reaction is the worst kind of Hostess Cupcake conclusion. Even down to the appearance of several cops, come to arrest the villain.

Straight-Jackets: Preventing "monkey shines" since the mid-60s.
But how do they work against Shenanigans? Or Goings-on? Tomfoolery?
Do they calm the common jackanape?
What I'm saying is: These cops are not taking this quite seriously enough... but, then again, neither are the writers. This issue made me want to scream.

That's all that happens.

BONUS MATERIAL: ICEMAN'S POWERS
Highlights: none.


OF NOTE:
Either this issue was exceptionally boring, or I'm getting burned out with this project. I though I'd make it at least to the end of the Silver Age before I needed to take breather, but I think I might have started gasping for air early. I'm going to take a well-deserved break!

NOW, the good news! Since I'm so far ahead in reading the issues, as compared to blogging them, you won't even notice that I took a break from reading, since I had such a backlog of posts ready to write up. In fact, I continued blogging, through my stoppage-point and even resumed reading WAY before I got to the point, today, where I'm blogging this issue. Time dilates. I am my own grandfather.

So, if you, fair reader, would never have noticed, why did I tell you? Because this is real life, baby! Welcome to it!

REGRETS:
Having written up this blog post, I regret:
a) Not referencing the "Maha?" "AH-HA?!" gag from The Three Stooges.
b) Not making a passing mention/joke about a Dhalsim-ist YOGA FLAME!
These are two gags I thought of after I finished slapping together this all-too-short recap, but was too lazy to do a re-write to fit them in.

I continue to dazzle you with my dedication to this blog, right?

NO REGRETS:
I have NO regrets not making a Yogi Bear joke. Nor a Yogi Berra joke. After all, this blog ain't over till it's pick-a-nick basket!