Monday, April 9, 2012

The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants (#4 and #5)

Up to this point, I've felt like the endings of the stories have felt somehow ... off. I've finally realized why. It's because the Jack Kirby art style is reminiscent of those old advertisements from the comics I read growing up:

Doing evil around my childhood home never
resulted in Hostess snacks being thrown my way.
Bad lesson.
Yep, I've been expecting the X-Men to capture Magneto through the clever use of Hostess snacks. "These Hostess Fruit Pies are fit for Homo Superior!"(TM)

PS - In a couple of weeks or months (maybe even days) I will forget that I already talked about Hostess Fruit Pies and re-mention them again. Please be courteous enough to humor me with a sad chuckle. Thanks!

But on to the comic! Issue #4 introduces The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants! Not the greatest name, though it does sound like it would work as a chapter of a union: "The Brotherhood of Evil Electricians, Local 3".

And who are the most evil of evil?! BOEM Roll Call:
Magneto, master of magnetism and mentally unstable terrorist!
Scarlet Witch, who can "hex" things, causing accidents to happen to people!
Mastermind, who can create illusions so real, people believe them to be true - even if they know they're not! (?)
Quicksilver, who can run really fast!
Toad, a guy who can hop, impressively.

Though Magneto has few regrets, Toad is one of them.
Well, I guess when you ask people to join an after-school program with the word "evil" in the title, you have to take what you can get? I certainly give Magneto credit for not hiding his group's motives behind an obfuscating name, though. The "National Organization for Marriage" should take a page from his playbook and add "bigotry" in there somewhere, right? Political! Boom! When people look back, they will point to my comic book blog as the turning point in the struggle for human rights.

Of course, at no point in the comics do they actually call themselves by this name, but we sure had fun talking about it as if they did, right?

It all concludes neatly with the X-Men air-dropping dozens of Hostess Fruit Pies on Santo Marco and waiting until the BOEM die from diabetes complications.

ISSUE #5 - MORE Brotherhood of Evil Mutants

Anyone else getting sick of Magneto, Magneto, Magneto?! Yeah, me neither (especially if the alternative is The Vanisher" - poor, poor, The Vanisher... he will never again recognize the face of his loved ones!)

THIS time, Magneto's diabolical plan is to send a disguised Toad to a televised track meet to lure the X-Men into investigating in the hopes that Professor X will invite him back to the mansion for post-race Gatorade at which time The BOEM will swoop in and destroy the X-Men. INSTEAD, the X-People wind up invading Magneto's orbiting asteroid lair and destroying IT. It's your standard turn-about is fair play plot.

I would also like to continue commenting on the costumes of our heroes, if I may: This is the first issue in which Ice Man is drawn without booties, making his appearance immediately 1,000x less goofy. I think we're all happy about this turn of events, even if it means we have to realize that we've spent too much time thinking about a comic book character's feet.

Magneto ramps up the evil/crazy by revealing that he is willing to kill anyone and anything to get what he wants including humans, X-Men, as well as friends and family (since I can see the future, I know that The Scarlet Witch is Magneto's daughter. Sorry, spoilers ... forget I said anything! Though, I'm not sure that even Stan-the-man Lee his-self knew that at this point, since the Soap Opera aspects of the X-Men has yet to really ramp up.)

But THE best bit of this issue has to be the revelation that Magneto's asteroid has many, unguarded, and easy-to-accidentally-hit self-destruct buttons:

They were also unlabeled, just in case.
Nuff Said.

Want to read along? These stories are covered in X-Men Volume 1 (Marvel Masterworks)